BLUR.

Enam bulan. Semuanya baik-baik. Hidup baru, banyak benda-benda membahagiakan.
Then.. Pernah tak satu detik, ko bangun tidur tetiba rasa blank.. Bukan moody? Bukan letih? Jauh sekali tak happy. Perasan tu macam separuh diri ko masih tidur..

Duduk lama termenung. Fikiran menerawang macam bangkai tak bernyawa. ikut je badan Nak bangun.. Nak duduk, bongkok.
Ntah kenapa blur. mata aku kejap-kejap tengok sekitar kejap-kejap tengok kucing yang terperuk dalam cage Bila salah sekor tengok aku balik tepat kat mata. eh.. Then blur. Tengok benda lain plak. Buat kopi. Menung lagi. Puas aku bedah otak aku, pehal dengan aku hari ni? hari blur sedunia...

kebetulan

Kebetulan
Aku mengalah dan bersandar pada kata-katamu Kita hanya kebetulan Dua jiwa yang saling tertawan Kerana cinta pada bau hujan Warna-warna sepadan Dan senja yang menawan

Aku mengalah dan bersandar pada kata-katamu Kita harus saling melepaskan Dua jiwa yang saling tertawan Kerana takut pada kesunyian Aku akan kedinginan Terburu buru di sebuah pertemuan
Ya Sayang Barangkali kita hanya sebuah kebetulan Kebetulan yang direncanakan.
Puisi (Karl agan)

BELAJAR BERSYUKUR.

Bersyukur kepada Allah SWT mesti dilakukan oleh setiap manusia seperti FirmanNya yang bermaksud:-

“Dan syukurilah nikmat Allah jika kamu sungguh-sungguh menyembah kepadaNya.” – (Surah an-Nahl, ayat 114)

Cara nak bersyukur tu banyak. Allah Maha Berkuasa tidak mengira ruang, masa dan waktu. Walau dimanapun jua nikmat Allah itu dimana-mana. Setiap hari kita dilimpahi dengan nikmat Allah Yang Maha Pemurah. Setiap hari manusia diberi dan terus diberi oleh Allah Yang Maha Pengasih. Sebutkan saja nikmat Allah berikan, yang paling hebat pada diri kita..dari rambut kepala, mata, telinga, hidung, bibir, wajah, leher, bahu, lengan, tangan, jari jemari, peha, betis hingga ke hujung kaki..itu belum termasuk organ dalaman, belum termasuk akal fikiran, hati, perasan, emosi. ROH..MasyaAllah tak terkira...itu baru nikmat diri sendiri...nikmat deria penglihatan mata, untuk kita lihat orang-orang yang kita sayangi, nikmat deria rasa untuk kita merasa makanan dengan lidah, deria sentuhan untuk kita merasai pelbagai bentuk sifat bulat, bersegi, berlekuk..macam-macam.

Dengan itu bersyukurlah. Bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada. Kadang-kadang bukan semua orang dapat merasa nikmat yang kita rasakan..kurang kasih sayang, penuh kasih kecintaan, dicintai, dicelakakan, dipukul, diluka, diperbodoh, diperalat, dizalimi, rasa susah, derita...rasa hebat,..macam2 rasa yang kita rasa (mgkn bukan semua rasa sama seperti yang kita rasa) dan bukan semua orang sudah menikmati apa yang kita nikmati.

Kenapa perlu kita lihat rumah banglo, villa besar yang bertingkat, yang sudah pasti berjuta harganya sedangkan jika periuk nasi dirumah kita sentiasa penuh dengan nasi, tilam dibilik masih boleh medodoikan tidur malam kita, rumah pangsa bertingkat suda cukup melindungi diri kita dari panas dan sejuk.Mengapa perlu bandingkan diatas.Sedangkan dibawah ada lagi kehidupan yang kasihan.Cuba fikirkan mereka yang terpaksa kais pagi, mkn pagi..kais petang makan petang..atau mereka yang cacat kurang anggota badan, sudahlah orang kurang upaya, miskin lagi tidak punya rumah..hanya tidur dikaki lima, tidur atas simen tidak berselimut berbantalkan hanya lengan,ditemani lipas-lipas yang menyelinap bersorok di antara baju yang koyak dan lusuh. Kadang-kadang makan cuma roti kosong. Yang terpaksa diceraikan (kemudian disimpan untuk bekalan esok) untuk mengalas perut.

Kenapa perlu mengeluh bila itu kurang, ini kurang..Cuba fikirkan orang yang susah, kadang-kadang mereka tak mandi berhari-hari, mungkin berbulan..air yang ada hanya untuk disimpan sebaai bekalan minuman.Bersyukurla kerana dengan bersyukur kita tidak kehilangan apa-apa. Malah dengan memanjat syukur Inn sha Allah rezeki kita sentiasa bertambah dan terbuka. Hidup pula akan sentiasa bahagia kerana sekecil manapun nikmat kita tetap bersyukur kepada Allah.

"Dan (ingatlah) tatkala Rab (Tuhan) kamu memberi peringatan:
“Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur, nescaya ditambahkan (nikmat) kepada kamu,
dan jika kamu kufur, sesungguhnya azab-Ku (Allah) sangatlah pedih.”
(Surah Ibrahim: Ayat 7)

Ingatlah, sesungguhnya, bersyukur kepada Allah SWT adalah untuk keuntungan manusia semata-mata. Allah SWT tidak mendapat apa-apa keuntungan dengan perbuatan syukur yang dilakukan oleh hambaNya. Sebaliknya, Allah SWT juga tidak akan rugi apa-apa dengan sikap kufur dan engkar yang ditunjukkan oleh hambaNya. Perkara ini dijelaskan oleh Allah melalui firman-Nya yang bermaksud:

“Dan barang siapa yang bersyukur maka sesungguhnya dia bersyukur untuk (kebaikan) dirinya sendiri dan barang siapa yang engkar maka sesungguhnya Tuhan itu Maha Kaya lagi Maha Mulia.” – (Surah al-Naml, ayat 40)

Orang yang bersyukur jiwanya akan menjadi semakin tenang. Mereka akan bertambah dengan penciptaNya dan semakin sedar bahawa nikmat itu adalah kurniaan Illahi yang perlu digunakan untuk kebaikan sesama insan. Justeru, marilah kita mulanya rasa bersyukur ini dengan melafazkan kata-kata Alhamdulillah setiap masa dan ketika, waktu senang atau susah. Semoga hidup kita diberkati Allah SWT.

WHY MEN LIKE SKINNY WOMEN? (the cold hard truth)

Meet hot skinny women now !

Ever wonder why the best looking guys out there always

seem to date the skinny “hot chicks” ?

What makes guys jump to attention and break their necks

when a skinny hot chick walks into the room?

Here are just a few reasons for you take into consideration.

This post is not intended to make anyone feel bad, but rather

shed some light on some of the (stupid?) reasons as to why

most guys are only really attracted to skinny women.

This article doesn't apply to all guys. There

are plenty of guys out there that find “not so skinny” girls

perfectly attractive. It’s just harder to find them.

1. Society

Take a look at any magazine cover or t.v. show

and you will see nothing but size 2 and under women.

Hollywood and the media perpetuate skinny women

as being “hot”. Back in the 1600′s, this was not the case.

Women that were “pleasantly plump” (even downright obese)

were seen as beautiful because their size suggested that they

would be good child bearers and mothers. Skinny chicks back in

those days were looked upon as poor and malnourished.

I think any guy that is having a problem getting a skinny chick

in this day and age should devote his efforts to building a time

machine back to the 1600′s. Jackpot, baby.

2. Porn

A good portion of the guys out there watch insane amounts of

porn. Almost all of these porn models have perfect asses,

skinny legs and arms and big breasts. To a guy, porn is like

a sacrament. It is how most guys learn about sex and what

a girl looks like with her clothes off. I would go as far as

saying that porn for most guys is like having a second girlfriend.

She doesn’t care how hung or buff you are, she is always there

whenever you need her and in those times when a real woman is

hard to find…..She will be only a few mouse-clicks away.

With all that being said, is it any wonder why guys tend to

think that chicks in real life with “banging bodies” are hot?

3. Sex

Guys don’t like to see arm fat and belly fat and insane amounts

of leg fat on a girl they are having sex with. Most guys would

say that this is a complete turn-off. When a guy sees a girl

in real life, he sometimes pictures what she would look like

having sex with him. If all he can see is a big belly, he might

get a bit (read: totally) turned off.

A skinny girl can also do things in bed that a “bigger” girl

would have a hard time with. The word “spinner” comes

to mind….

4. Bragging rights

Most guys like to show off their skinny trophy girlfriends to

their friends and the public in general. It gives them a sense

of pride and ownership of such a “valuable asset” and some

might even go as far as to revel in the fact that they are

making other men jealous. Guys are also keenly aware

that if they are dating a “fat chick”, their friends would

have a ton of material (no pun intended) to make fun

of them with.

5. Low self esteem

This one goes hand in hand with the #4 reason. Guys that

tend to like to show off their girlfriends usually have low self

esteem. By having other guys (including their friends) look

at their girlfriend and in some cases act jealous, it reaffirms

their self worth on a daily basis.

6. The protector

Some guys want to feel like they are the sole

protector of their girlfriend. As such, a skinny girl

would fit snugly inside his arms and he could hold her

and feel that she is his little angel. He could curl

up with her on the sofa when watching a movie and

she would fit right into the couch.

7. A sense of accomplishment

Generally speaking, skinny “hot” chicks have a ton

of self confidence, and as such, are a bit harder to

get a date with (because a wider dating pool is open

to them than to girls that are “bigger”). Guys that can successfully

score a date (or more) with a skinny girl tend to feel

that they have actually put in work and were rewarded

greatly for their efforts. Don’t believe me? Take any

normal looking guy out to a bar and set him off on

a mission to get phone numbers. Chances are that

the majority of the phone numbers he will get are from

girls that aren't secure with the way their bodies look.

Girls that are willing to take anything that is thrown their way.

Chances are if he is very lucky, he might get that

skinny chick at the bar to give him her number. More likely

than not, she won’t because almost all the guys in the

bar are vying for her attention. This potential denial

in and of itself makes a guy want a skinny chick just

that much more. You always want what you can’t have.

And the final reason (and most likely) why some guys

are really and truly only attracted to skinny women:

8. Guy that only date skinny girls are shallow

assholes that will one day wind up being 40, single,

and balding with a huge beer belly, going to community college

classes at night with the sole intention of trying to pick

up some 18 year old piece of ass.

Not that there is anything wrong with that….because if you

are a guy that is 40 years old, fat, balding and taking community

college courses at night for the sole intention of getting a younger

female (and you are successful), my hat is off you.

Rock on brother !!

….

My advice to you? Don’t worry about your weight, unless

it is for health concerns only. If you do choose to embark

on a diet plan or want to start exercising to lose weight,

do it for yourself. Don’t do it because “one day I will be

skinny and hot”. You are only setting yourself up for failure

that way.

10 TYPES OF 30-YEARS-OLD SINGLE GUYS

30-year-old guys are a curious bunch.Find me a group of 30-year-old men and I’ll pick out one overgrown frat dude living with roommates, another guy who just dropped his two kids off at school, a few who are well into their careers and a couple soul-searchers looking for work. Some will tell you that they've finally figured it all out and some more will say they feel hopeless for the first time in their lives. It’s a motley crew.But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys. If you want a case study in humanity, 30-year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered. Let’s examine some of the common types:

1) The Total Package

The Total Package is smart—he went to a top college. The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler. The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.

The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.

There’s just one thing The Total Package seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness. 

Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection. He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends. And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. His Juliet.

Unsurprisingly, The Total Package is single. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.

2) The New Lease On Life Guy

As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his long term girlfriend. He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married. Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right. He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.

He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.

3) The Guy Who Has To Marry Someone Of The Same Ethnicity Or His Parents Will Never Speak To Him Again

It’s hard enough finding someone to be your life partner, and this guy’s parents are really not making things any easier. He tried to rebel briefly, but after his last girlfriend was not allowed in his parents’ house, causing her to cry, he gave up on that.

He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.

He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.

4) The Misogynist

The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist. The Misogynist doesn't know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.

He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.

The Misogynist’s close cousin is The Perpetual Cheater. They’re different but they understand each other.

5) The Guy Who Peaked Too Early

Back in the day, The Guy Who Peaked Too Early had everything a 17-year-old girl could ever dream of. His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s. But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started. There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.

Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school football glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days. And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore. Realizing this about five years after everyone else, he takes a deep sigh and cranks his standards down a few big notches.

His antithesis is The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch. After losing some weight, getting decent clothes, and having early career success, this guy is getting more attention each week than he got in his first 25 years combined. He prominently displays photos on Facebook of himself on dates with attractive girls for the express purpose of making sure everyone from his high school sees his current situation.

6) The Normal Guy Who Just Hasn't Met The Right Girl Yet And He Really Wishes People Would Stop Looking At Him With Those Pitying Eyes

Ah,the NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE.. The NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE is enjoying his life. He likes his job, he likes his friends, and he likes being single just fine. He’s in no rush to be in a relationship and feels totally confident that at some point, he’ll meet the right girl and get married.

He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone. His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get. He appreciates all the unsolicited support, but he also thinks it would be pretty great if everyone stopped thinking there was something wrong with him.

7) The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet

The opposite of the previous guy, The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet can’t believe he’s not married yet. Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend. He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.

He has four online dating profiles, and when people ask him if he’s dating anyone, he explains that he’s just too busy with his career right now for a relationship.

8) The In-The-Closet Guy

The In-The-Closet Guy is so close to being the perfect catch—he’s handsome, he’s well-dressed, and he has a great job. He’s funny, articulate, and charming. The only tiny little inconvenience is that he’s not attracted to females whatsoever.

His antithesis is The NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE, who’s had just enough of the theories about him being gay, since he’s completely straight and, for the hundredth time, just hasn't met the right girl yet and is really very okay with being single right now.

9) The Chinese Single Guy

The Chinese Single Guy appreciates the government’s effort to control population through their One-Child Policy. He really does. But he’d also ya know like to lose his virginity at some point and that’s kind of hard when there are 18% more men than women in his generation.

This is because a lot of The Chinese Single Guy’s potential girlfriends were killed by their parents when they were two hours old.

The Chinese Single Guy doesn’t know what China’s plan is for the excess 18% of guys who will not be able to find a wife, but he’s pretty sure they’re not making the situation any easier by rampantly discriminating against homosexuality.

10) The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point

The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point never tried that hard in the first place, but at least there used to be a semblance of effort. He doesn't like going to bars, refuses to try online dating, and both the bong and the X-Box are back in the living room following their brief stint in the closet after his friend gave him a pep talk one day four months ago.

Deep down, The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point is pretty frightened about a lot of things, but his fear manifests itself in indifferent denial, and passivity usually prevails. There is only way that things change for The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point, and that’s to find himself squarely in the sights of The Girl Who Relentlessly Pursues. Until then, the whole thing isn't really his issue.

WHEN PEOPLE DON’T SUPPORT YOUR DREAMS

‘Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.’
~ W. Gibson.

Have you ever shared your dream with someone, only to have them stomp on it with a few unsupportive words?

‘I’ve been thinking about writing a book, and—’

‘It’s really hard to get published, you know.’

There’s a breed of control freaks who quietly lurk, ready to attack your precious, vulnerable ideas as soon as you share them with the world. These people are known as naysayers, non-supporters, dream killers, or just plain assholes.

You’ll find them in the workplace, in social circles, in the family, or in your marital bed. It could be your boss, your pal, your parents, your husband or wife, your neighbor, your neighbor’s mother’s husband …

Regardless of where you encounter them, naysayers all have the same toxic tendency: they get off on popping bubbles, raining on parades, throwing wet blankets on ambitions, and farting on dreams. “What’s that? You want to travel around the world?” Brruuuub! 

How to recognize a naysayer

This is usually how it unfolds: you dream up a plan that excites you to the core of your being. It may be an adventure, a new career path, an artistic pursuit, or a crazy invention to rival Velcro. Hopefully it’s involves a plan more inspired than quitting your job to sit at home in your robe growing out your facial hair, while watching soaps day long (in lieu of using soaps). If that is your ambition, you’re not dealing with naysayers, you’re dealing with sane people. Get help.

But if you have a solid, well-considered life dream that you’re driven to accomplish, you’ll probably want to share it with friends, family and co-workers. You’ll want to come out of the closet with your grandiose dream. Some will pat you on the back and say, “GO FOR IT,” but there’s alwaysone person who gets off on taking a dump in your happiness sandwich.

Common remarks from naysayers:

You might receive ’helpful advice’ along the lines of: ‘I know someone else who tried that and it didn’t work out for them.’

Your confidence will be attacked with: ‘Are you sure you’re qualified?’

Naysayers love to highlight the impracticalities of your dream, “You can’t make any money doing that.”

Or, they’ll call upon ‘normal people’ as the basis for their argument, pointing out how you’re destined for failure because you’re not acting like one of them. ‘Normal people usually just get a real job,’ or, ‘This isn’t what normal people do.’

There’s an easy way to know if you’re dealing with a naysayer. When their mouth opens up and words come out, does it:

1. Make your heart happy? 

If your answer is yes, you’re being lovingly supported.

2. Make your feel like your guts have just been through a meat mincer?

If your answer is yes, you’ve been naybashed by an asshole.

The psychology of an asshole

Most often, naysayers have not fulfilled their own dreams. They don’t live an inspired existence because they’re too busy living in fear. Maybe they made the mistake of listening to their own naysayers, and they’re just parroting words that have kept them down their whole life? Perhaps they believe that life is all about living inside a fantasyland called Normalville, where regular people populate the average town of Mediocrity, sipping on lukewarm cups of boring?

Chances are, they’re just scared. Fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of change, fear of being insignificant, fear of death or injury, fear of being judged. Your wild ambitions threaten the naysayer. He/she likes to keep life safe, simple and predictable, and by pissing in your party hat, they’re hoping to keep you small and easy to manage. Your goal threatens to throw out the equilibrium of his/her universe. But the naysayer is out of luck because the entire universe doesn’t actually belong to them(as much as they like to believe that it does)

How to deal with a naysayer

Talk it out

If the negative comments are coming from a person you care deeply about, see what you can do to talk it through. Ask them what their concerns are and, without judgement, address them one by one. Don’t let it escalate into an argument—stay calm. Comfort them through their fears, while peacefully standing your ground. This is your life, your journey and your happiness, so own it and make it clear that you won’t sway from your dream. Negotiate and compromise if possible, but make sure you leave the conversation with your heart fluttering. If you come away from the conversation feeling heavy and sad, you’ve just been naybashed once again. Perhaps it’s time to consider therapy?

Ignore

If the criticism is coming from your family, or a dear old friend, it may be best to simply block it out. Have confidence in your plans, and refuse to hear their crap. Locate your internal switch called GIVE A SHIT and simply flick it over from DO to DON’T.

Sever ties

Perhaps the naysayer is a friend or partner who never supports your dreams? If you find yourself in a relationship with a toxic person who continually tears holes in your ambitions, it may be best to cut off the relationship. Choose to surround yourself with people who make you want to break out into ahappy dance. Align with people who blow air into your balloon, rather than the pricks.

Sharpen your swords and get ready for some nayslaying, because:

Have you had any experiences with naysayers? Have your dreams been naybashed? What did you do to cope? What advice would you give to people who are not being supported?

PART OF ME

sometimes i feel lost in my own place.

lonely..

sometimes i can't figure it out..

puzzle

walk with wondering eyes

this road seem long enough

sitting alone 

with all this memory, 

i let it alive...

coz i can't seem find a way to erase it.

take half of my life...

waiting, wanting..

here i go again with broken heart

leaving my memory with empty room

inside my deepest heart.

i found you

as you always keep me holding in your heart

-love-

lets-be-forever-in-our-heart-

if we can't seem to find way back 

home...

love you always,my twilight