jaaaapp~

i notice sumthing hahahahaha nak t'gelak!!!!!!!uhhmm jap..jap..GONNA UPDATE real ssooooon!!yeay!THANX dear..jap eyh~

Sumthing bla..bla..my eyes glaze looking the dark blue sky.. hummm

Uhh..donno why im feeling sad tonite..i just feel soo emo...touched by words he said....my guy juz cll we talk for a while..im happy we still in track..hold on, eventhug is very tuf..like my frens owez say “oww sweet PJJ!” a.k.a ‘percintaan jarak jauh’ >>huff huff wat eva...T_T far away apart like tis make me sob..sob..every nite..i never let him know..coz I dun him to worry bout me...huu~hoping in future everything gonna be alrite.(*plez God im begging in my prayers let he.. be sumone dat love me bcoz he love his God too, chnge me into sumone positive and humble person>>more p+ and be more gud).huhu..he clled me and its cute wen he sound like little baby coz he feel so tired, wanted to sleep yet still wanted to clled me..??he owez makes me laugh..funny wen he talk sumthng like a ‘poem’..oowg dat is so sweet and hahaha..funny!!..hehe he always knw how to make me laugh..(I really love laughing hiik~) huhu..but....

Wats make me blue for a second..and lit emo is wen he says sorry for making me feel alone n making me waiting for a long time, sort of a day feels like year, 1 hour feel like day..and he understand wat im feeling coz we in the same boat..he understand if I feel kindda dispointed wen he not around like usual, (well we do far away distance sob..sob T_T) I was so touched wen he say dat uhuhu..he promise to take care and be the best for me in future...all the prays and adviced he said (if he realize or not) make me strong every day, and he change me a lots..yeh a lots..seriously..i meant im chngging into positif, never forget praying wen its time..he said whenever we go, whatever we do praying is a wajib..(at least sum1 care...huhu thxx dear)

He never try to contolled my life, he never asked me don’t do tis or u must do tis..for him..wat im doing as long im still on my track..dun forget prying coz tats important..he never judge me for wat im doing or wat I do..wat I love a.k.a in acting...coz no body really cn jugde only Allah knw who..and what we really are..sigh~yepp..wat we do, mistake or good..never forgetting Allah..wen he cll me saying how he sorry for making me waiting huuuhu makes me cry >>mybe deep down inside I feel soo..huu..lonely.and miss him a lot..

Funny, we never talked in romantically face 2 face hehe bcoz its just I donno hehe:p to do so..juz so weird..and he know im gonna laugh wen he do so..hahaha wat so eva, we just be ourself never pretending to be sumbdy. I love spending time wif him, take the gud and the sweet time together..talked bout ourself, family and fren..the way he treat me makes me feels like home..’safe’.. He non-stop make me laugh..maybe he just knw and understand my character erkk~...quiet n bit pasif (uh..uh not most of the time!) but I love to laugh ^v^..huhu... weird both of us way to dif..he kindda talkative and happening hehe n guffoon humm me?sort of quite a lots..emo solitude?uh..sumtimes stammer  and splutter blur..blur....T_T huhu..thats why i keep wondering camne kmi leh jumpe???hahaha.. 

I really hav a gud times n enjoy watched him guff around n tell me a lots of story while I just laid back and relak and ahahahaha~ :D

Rite now?Im sitting alone..all frens keep duin their stuff, laughing, chatting, outing.. while me?..keep on tik tok tik tok with my best buddy (*laptop*)..well..actually im 0n9 >>surfing nothing>>>dwuh giileer kan!wasted time giler2..hmmph thnk God I never forget HIM..then when its time for praying, I take my sweet time just for God...talking to HIM..huhu..its kindda annoying+frustrated wen im alone I keep thinking sumthng bad>>>uh?such as..am I going to be die tomorrow God? Do I will be taken after im praying..?is my time yet??or do I have enuf time to show my cares to sumone and everyone I love..is it enough??dear God I admit it...im not a gud person in real life, but I neva stop find a gud path in my life..im learing..to be sumbdy that love religion..love God..I make a lots of mistake in my life, holding back..running away from problem, selfish..sorrow..and I felt like bloody shit dem guilty..i wanna knw myself..i wanna knw more bout Islam, dat my parents didn’t seem to understand wat I really need..sumthng that I never got chnce to understand frm the 1st plce..huuh~emptiness up ahead..straight tru my heart..

I knw wen Im alone..feeling blue..sad..i realize..i stop talking to everyone..i keep on pushing everyone not to mess up or stop care about myself too much..its really makes me far away from them.. Its weird sum times I got this feeling...

just wanna be alone, doing nothing, dun wan to mingle around?quite and lazy to msg/text/ or even talk to everyone??im afraid my sense of ‘human’ lost...huuuu...



be frens with me meant u gamble u self..be my best fren meant mess up ur life thinking wat...>>what am I actually thinking?? Its hard to understand other wen u never actually understand ur own self....>>kindda harsh I knw, but that is the honest answer I can giv....insyaAllah I wanted I will be by urside as a best fren eva..best buddy eva..as long as we continued understand each other..juz follow the flow~understnd about ‘me and you’ character..



”stop messing up, stop talking bad to other, stop..cares bout me asking why n why...” hmmph but dat doesn’t meant im avoiding people dat i care..its juz..i can’t pretend likes I knw everyone, dat I just met.. for a few days/month like I knw them for years..i need to rest myself and tone down a bit..down to earth, observing what actually frens wanted frm me?frnship..or more thn dat..talking too much about other people ..bad thing..>>wen im laughing doesn’t mean I likes that person or I love the jokes or the story..i just need to knw wat really I need to knw...talking to much actually make me thnk 2 side of my frens..negative and positive..i knw its not my job to jugde people but sumtimes wat u just do,say..showing the real of u..>>show off or humble.??.i do need attention..i love to take care and give my love to everyone dat I care..But plez dun be too far, push me too much..sumtime we need to rest a little bit..or just chill out..no need to be overprotected or over acting like u care me>>to show that u the one I needed the most..wuuh!streess me out..(im talking bout frens) sumtimes frens need to give me times to heal..or they shud understand when my mood swing..im unpredictable gurl..1 day u knw me like this..tomorrow I become sumone else..* depends on external and internal factor..still I am the same person but my mood chnge a lots refer to my positive thnking today*



Wen I feel like no one beside me..no one really understand wat I really want ‘in’ me, no one there to share/ the 1 i needed the most is never there..i realize, Allah is all I need..He giv his hand showing sumthng to me..open my heart..darker emo heart to understand sumthng..Then I realized Allah help me a lots..hurmmm....



uuh~crapx!! Why am i splutter...uhh ar..?? bla..bla..bla...hahaha>_< gosh! bi tunggang langgang!!hahaha...